我们这一天第一季

这可能是我近几年来看过的，最暖心的美剧，平平淡淡中透露着生活的温情，少了韩剧玛丽苏少女的梦幻浪漫，却依然能在细微之处打动你，让你不知不觉已潸然泪下。

该剧最大的亮点在于叙事结构的变化。它改变了以往以时间作为故事推进主线的唯一方式，穿越时间、地点交替地呈现，将三个孩子的成长过程与他们如今的生活串联起来，让每集故事的主题都更为凸显，同时，也更加自然地展现出这一家五口之间细腻而深刻的联结。

作为一部主打温情的家庭剧，相比较于翻译的中文名字《我们这一天》，我更喜欢它的英文名字《This is us》，这就是我们。在偶然中相遇的Jack和Rebecca，在橄榄球决赛之夜意外怀上的三个孩子，在产房恰巧碰上前来送弃婴的消防员，这些生活中每时每刻发生的偶然，塑造了现在的我们，他们彼此凝聚在黑夜的暗海上，相遇之后，也都各自有各自的方向。这就是，我们。

《This is us》这部剧，其实还将各种宏大的主题穿插于其中，三个孩子分别挣扎于明星的价值定义、肥胖症、种族歧视之中。

Kevin是这个家里最正常却也最经常被忽视的小孩，他对自己的父母说“你们总是在关心Kate有没有多吃，Randel有没有遭受不公平的待遇，与此同时Kevin呢，Kevin死了！”长大后的他，成为了红极一时的喜剧明星，却依然对自我价值摇摆不定，他想摆脱只靠出卖身材的”男保姆“角色，却时时刻刻都在进行着自我否定。

Kate是个从小到大饱受体重困扰的女孩，她嫉妒着自己妈妈的苗条美丽，有一次她帮妈妈拿衣服，看到妈妈衣服背后的商标是S号，而当时的自己早已穿上了XL号的衣服，内心的沮丧无法言表。她想尽各种办法减肥，计算卡路里、参加互助会、封闭式训练营，但是依旧改善颇微。她在重塑自己的希望和不断失败的痛苦中挣扎着，她心里那个糟糕的自己是不值得被爱的。

Randel智商超群，天赋过人，却因为生活在一个白人家庭，总是觉得自己格格不入。他要拼命努力，来挽留住父母对他的爱，因为它总是觉得自己就是他们失去的第三个孩子的替代品。同时，他也害怕，因为自己过于突出，而伤害了其他的兄妹，他说“我不想和他们不一样，如果我拿到了A，他们是B，我就有冰淇淋吃，而他们没有”。儿时的他，被同学们嘲笑是“白加黑”，长大后的他看着自己的黑人女儿在台上扮演着白雪公主，台下的观众瞬间哄笑。

剧中的每一集，都有揪心却没那么撕心裂肺的剧情，娓娓道来，向我们展示了，生活是多么轻易地就能让我们遍体鳞伤。但海明威在写《永别了武器》的时候，还填上了后半句，“到后来，那些受伤的地方，一定会变成我们最强壮的地方。”

这部剧更是处处充满柔软的温情，我想它更大的主题，或许是展现，一个人，或者说一个家庭，如何在平淡又困苦的生活里，修复创伤和建造幸福的能力。

前段时间和一个朋友一起吃饭，他问我，楠楠，你知不知道豆瓣有个小组叫“父母皆祸害”，英文名是“Anti-Parents”。这个小组里面有句话，“如果我可以自由选择的话，我想选择不出生。”我在网上搜索之后，很惊讶地发现，这个小组已经变成了一个声势浩大的组织，小组的公告里面说，“反对不是目的，而是一种积极手段。在尊重遵守社会伦理的前提下，抵御腐朽、无知、无理取闹父母的束缚和戕害。”在这个小组的讨论话题里，充满了对父母愤怒的吐槽。

而这部剧中的核心成员，父亲Jack和母亲Rebecca的原生家庭也是如此，他们的原生家庭，甚至不能称得上”正常”，是让人时刻想要逃离的存在。

Jack出生在一个充满了家庭暴力、父亲常年酗酒的家庭里。儿时的他，经常可以听到或者亲眼见证爸爸打妈妈的场景，弱小的他带着恐惧、愤怒和无能为力的无助和绝望慢慢地长大。有一次，青少年时期的他，再次听到妈妈在楼下的嘶吼，冲到楼下，想要保护妈妈，情急之下，拿起了枪，对着自己的混蛋老爸，他的爸爸在他的枪口下，丝毫没有任何的悔过和害怕、反而继续用言语不断地激怒他，认为他不会真的开枪，而他的妈妈在一旁苦苦哀求，求他别这么做。最后的Jack没有开枪，但是他记住了他的妈妈流着泪对他说的一句话，“答应我，长大之后，千万不要和你爸爸一样。”

而Rebecca出生在一个女性占大多数，但却长久以来被忽略的家庭。她有一个姐姐，和一个有着强烈控制欲和不停评判的母亲，出生在这样家庭里的她，沉闷无言地快要窒息。儿时的她坐在角落的沙发上，看着父亲盯着电视机入迷地看着橄榄球比赛，她呼叫着爸爸和妈妈，但是无人应答。她母亲的眼里只有她父亲，也总是对她的选择指手画脚。在她妈妈的眼里，Rebecca似乎永远都不够好，感恩节的蔓越莓果酱做的不够好，即将要出生的三个孩子的家不够大，甚至对于Jack，她的妈妈也认为Jack只不过是个打零工的无业青年。

原生家庭会在我们身上留下不可磨灭的烙印，有时候让我们想要奋力地逃离，却始终无法摆脱。

它像是生物进化过程中，残留的尾巴，为了更好地直立行走，尾巴只会成为前行路上沉重的累赘，但却始终无法摆脱，并且越用力反而会把自己弄得越疼，因为，那是我们身上的一部分。那是埋藏在心底，却又一不小心就会被连根拔起的愤怒、绝望与恐惧。就像Jack在每次郁郁寡欢时，也总和他爸爸一样，用酒精来麻痹自己。就像Rebecca每次在碰到母亲时，都会像变了个人似的暴跳如雷，她甚至对“母亲”这个角色都存在着深深的恐惧。

和许多相信一切皆有可能的人不同，我觉得，生而为人，漫长的一生中，总会有一些你拼命想要但却永远也无法得到的东西，这其中，就包括了我们无法选择的父母。我想起我的咨询师对我说过的一句话，当你无法认同你的父母，或者是无法认同其中一方的时候，其实你是把自己身上的一部分，也给否定了，这其实是很痛苦的。

但我也相信，生而为人的高贵或许就在于，我们永远都有着选择的权利。他们从来就没有在一开始，就能预知我们未来的所有道路。

把责任推给他们是容易的，而离开他们，改变和重新开始的道路，却步履维艰。他们的确曾在我们身上不停地犯错，但我们的问题，不全都是，他们带来的。无法选择理想的父母至少让你明白了一件事，那就是，你理想的家庭是怎么样的。他们有他们自己的问题，我们，也一样。与此同时，你一定也同时拥有着某些，别人想要却得不到的东西。

剧中的Jack和Rebecca就是这么做的，他们带着满身伤痕，却创建了一个足够美好的家庭，叫Big Three。

当Jack抱着生气的Kevin对他说，“对不起，我很抱歉，可是，这也是我第一次当爸爸，我要照顾你们三个，我也在努力”“的时候；当Jack为Randel四处奔走，想给他找一个适合他的学校，带他去武术馆找一个黑人榜样，背着他做俯卧撑，大汗淋漓也不愿停下来的时候；当Rebecca压抑着内心的恐惧，在平安夜折了一片叶子，塞到即将要动阑尾炎手术的Kate的手里的时候。我想，那一刻，他们不再是曾经渴望被爱的孩子，他们自己，拥有和创造了爱别人的能力。

而当Kevin放弃对自己意义重大的话剧首演，跑到Randel的办公室，拥抱着他，陪伴着他度过漫长黑夜的时候；当Kate跑回去面对曾经激怒她的肥胖症小女孩的时候；当Randel在自己的亲生父亲去世时，像Jack曾经对待自己那样，双手捧着对方的脸，让他看着自己，跟着他的节奏，一起深呼吸，慢慢地帮他赶走面对未知的恐惧的时候。

他们知道，原生家庭，除了带给他们最初的伤痛，它还教会了他们，向上生长的能力。

就像这部剧的第一集里，被重复最多的那句台词“Took the sourest lemon that life has to offer,and turned it into something resembling lemonade.”

如何把生活赠与你最酸涩的一颗柠檬，酿成一杯甜美的柠檬汁。

俄剧《战斗民族养成记》里有一首主题曲，叫《Keep it coming》，但这首歌，却非常精妙地展现了《This is us》的主题，像莫泊桑在《一生》里，最著名的那句话，

“生活不会像你想象得那么好，但也不会像你想象得那么糟。我觉得人的脆弱和坚强都超乎自己的想象。有时候，我可能脆弱得一句话就泪流满面，有时候，我也发现自己，咬着牙就走了很远的路。

抓住生活给你的柠檬，将它酿成属于你的柠檬汁。

(Take every lemon life hands out, And make some lemonade)

以上。

本文首发于喃喃自语公众号。

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很喜欢这种温情的电视剧，每一集都是一份心灵鸡汤。忍不住去细细回味那一段段的对白，听他们娓娓道来那些故事。 第一季 第一集 Part One Dr. Katowski: okay if I keep you company a second? 卡托斯基医生：我能陪你坐会吗？ Jack: Yeah. 杰克：好。 Dr. Katowski: Okay if I try and say something meaningful? 卡托斯基医生：我能跟你分享一些人生心得吗？ Jack: Yeah. 杰克：好。 Dr. Katowski: I lost my wife last year，cancer. That's the reason I still work so much at my age. Just...trying to pass the time. 卡托斯基医生：我妻子去年去世的, 癌症。所以我这把年纪了还在卖力工作，只是想消磨时间。 Dr. Katowski: We were married 53 years, five children, 11 grandkids, but we lost our very first child, during the delivery. The reason I went into this field, truth be told. 卡托斯基医生：我们结婚53年了，五个孩子，11个孙子, 但是我们失去了第一胎，接生时夭折的。说实话这就是我从事这个行业的原因。 Dr. Katowski: I have spent five decades delivering babies. More babies than I can count. But there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of the child I lost. 卡托斯基医生：我干接生干了五十年了。接生过的孩子多得数不过来。但还是没有哪一天我没想起我那死去的孩子的。 Dr. Katowski: And I'm an old man now. I like to think that because of the child that I lost, because of the path that he sent me on that I have saved countless other babies. 卡托斯基医生：现在我老了,我想正是因为我失去的这个孩子，因为他让我选择了这条路，我才能救回数不胜数的孩子。 Dr. Katowski: I like to think that maybe one day you'll be an old man like me talking a younger man's ear off, explaining to him how you took the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turned it into something resembling lemonade. 卡托斯基医生：我想也许有一天你会变成像我这样的老人...并向一位年轻人娓娓道来你是如何将生活带给你柠檬般的酸楚酿成犹如柠檬汽水般的甘甜。 Dr. Katowski: If you can do that, then you will still be taking three babies home from this hospital. Just maybe not the way you planned. I don't know if that was meaningful or senile, but I thought it ought to be said. 卡托斯基医生：如果你能做到，那你还是能从医院带走三个孩子，只是跟你的计划稍有偏差而已，我不知道这话是否有意义或是我老糊涂了，但我觉得我应该告诉你。 Dr. Katowski: Your wife'll still be asleep for a little while. Go see your babies. They're excited to meet their father. I think maybe they got a good one. 卡托斯基医生：你妻子还要再睡一会儿，去看你的孩子吧。他们很期待见到自己的父亲，他们也许摊上了个好父亲。 Part two Kevin: I am screwed. 凯文：我完了。 Kate: Listen, okay, Kevin… Do you remember what Dad used to say? When something crappy would happen to us? Whenever we’d get down, whenever we felt like life wasn’t going our way? 凯特：听着，凯文。还记得以前每当我们遭遇不顺，老爸是怎么说的吗？当我们失意沮丧，感觉生活不尽如人意时说的话。 Fire Policeman: Which one’s yours? 消防员：哪个是你的孩子？ Jack: Those two. 杰克：那两个。 Fire Policeman: Congrats! Twins. 消防员：恭喜啊！双胞胎。 Jack: How about you? Which one’s yours? 杰克：你呢，哪个是你的孩子？ Fire Policeman: None of’ em, actually. strangest damn thing. Someone left a newborn at my fire station. I didn’t know what to do, so I brought him here. 消防员：都不是，奇了怪了，有人把一个新生儿丢在了消防局，我不知道该怎么办就送来医院了。 Fire Policeman: Life is strange. 消防员：生活真奇妙。 Kate: Come on, Kevin. You remember, what did he say? About the lemons. There’s no lemon so sour…so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade. 凯特：说说吧，小凯。你记得的，他怎么说的，就柠檬那句，没有柠檬能酸到...酸到令你做不出美味的柠檬汽水 第一季 第二集 Part one Jack: Dad’s off. Deep breaths. And…First came… 杰克：爸爸要走了，深呼吸。准备…最开始… Kevin: Me! 凯文：是我！ Jack: And Dad said… 杰克：爸爸说… Kevin: Gee! 凯文：是我！ Jack: And then came… 杰克：然后呢... Kate: Me! 凯特：是我！ Jack: And Mom said… 杰克：妈妈说… Kate: Whee! 凯特：妈呀！ Jack: And then came… 杰克：最后呢... Kyle: Me! 凯利：是我！ Jack: And we said… 杰克：我们说… Kyle: That’s three！ 凯利：三个了！ Jack: Big Three? 杰克：三个小家伙? Together: Big Three! 众人：三个小家伙！ Part two Kevin: Hey, uh…is it too late out there? I know you’re usually up late, right? 凯文：现在给你打电话是不是太晚了？我记得你经常熬夜 ? Randall: No, I was just, uh… catching up on some paperwork. 兰德尔：不晚，我刚刚在赶几份文件。 Kevin: Good, uh…Hey, listen, I …I know I’ve owed you a phone call since everything went down, it’s been crazy out there, just… you know. 凯文：太好了。我知道发生那些事之后我应该给你打个电话，但因为实在太离谱了。 Randall: No. it’s all good. Kate’s kept me up to speed. 兰德尔：没关系，凯特都告诉我了 Kevin: Good… They said they’re not gonna let me out of the show, man. And I… I don’t know what I’m gonna do, like they locked me in for two more years, maybe more. 凯文：很好… 他们说绝不会让我离开剧组，而我不知道要怎么做，他们还要牵制我两年，甚至更久。 Randall: Damn. Well, what are you gonna do? 兰德尔：真糟，那你打算怎么做？ Kevin: I was kind of hoping you’d tell me. 凯文：我倒是希望你能告诉我 Randall: Oh, because you care what I think? 兰德尔：因为你在乎我的想法吗？ Kevin: Because I care what everyone thinks, man. You know that. I was not a very good brother to you, was I? 凯文：因为我在乎所有人的想法，你知道的。对你来说我不是个好哥哥，是吗？ Randall: No, you weren’t. But you’ve still got time. 兰德尔：对，你不是。但你还有时间弥补。 Kevin: Yeah, uh…Anyway, look, it’s getting late, man, I know you, I probably should go. It’s, uh… Kate’s here, it’s Randall 凯文：没错，总之，时间不早了，我该挂电话了，那个，凯特在这呢，我在跟兰德尔打电话。 Kate: Oh, hey, Randall! 凯特：好啊，兰德尔，你好 Kevin: Hey, Anyway, yeah, I - I should probably, uh…I got to go back inside and sell my should to the network like the whore that I am. 凯文：总之吧， 或许我应该回去把自己卖给电视网，就像妓女那样。 Randall: Hey, Kevin. Deep breath, okay? Come on, man, First came… 兰德尔：小凯，深呼吸，好吗？来吧，兄弟，第一个... Kevin: Me. 凯文：是我 Randall: And Dad said… 兰德尔：爸爸说… Kevin: Gee. 凯文：天哪。 Kevin: And then came… 凯文：然后是... Kate: Me! 凯特：是我！ Kevin: And Mom said… 凯文：妈妈说... Kate: Whee! 凯特：妈呀！ Kevin: And then came… 凯文：接下来是... Randall: Me。 兰德尔：是我。 Kevin: And they said… 凯文：然后他们说 Randall: That’s three. 兰德尔：三个了。 Kevin: Big three! 凯文：三个小家伙！ Together: Big three! 众人：三个小家伙! Randall: You good? 兰德尔：好点了吗？ Kevin: Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. 凯文：我很好，我很好 Randall: Kevin? 兰德尔：凯文？ Kevin: Yeah? 凯文：怎么？ Randall: Mom and Dad didn’t raise any whores. Except briefly, during Kate’s eyeliner phase. 兰德尔：爸妈可没养过什么妓女，除了凯特画眼线搞叛逆那段时间。 Kevin: Yeah. Night, little brother. 凯文：是的。 晚安，小弟。 Randall: Night, big brother. 兰德尔：晚安，大哥。 Part three Mom: What are you doing out here? 妈妈：你怎么在这里？ Jack: I don’t like sleeping far away from you. No more drinking. 杰克：我不想睡得离你太远。我再也不喝酒了。 Mom: You can’t just stop… 妈妈：这不是说戒就… Jack: I can. For you, I can. I will. 杰克：我能，为了你，我能戒，我会戒。 Jack: You know, when I was a little boy, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, Adults always ask little kids that. You know? I never had a good answer. Not until… not until I was 28, till the day that I met you. That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be the man that made you happy. 杰克：我小的时候，我不知道长大后要成为什么样的人，而大人们总会问孩子这种问题。 我从没想出一个好答案，直到我28岁那年，直到我遇到了你。我才确信自己想成为什么样的人。我想成为让你幸福的男人 Mom: You make me happy. 妈妈：你让我很幸福。 Jack: Not always. Not lately. 杰克：不总是那样。最近就没有 Jack: From here on out, I’m gonna be an 11 for you, baby. No, screw that. I’m gonna be a 12 for you, from here out. I’ll be an 11 for the kids, but you get a 12. Do you forgive me? 杰克：从今以后，我要为你做到11分，亲爱的。不，豁出去了，从现在开始，我要做12分的好丈夫。11分给孩子们，12分给你。你能原谅我吗？ Mom: You slept outside our bedroom door like a Labrador. Of course I forgive you. 妈妈：你就像只拉布拉多犬一样睡在门外。我当然原谅你了。 第一季 第五集 Part one Jack: If it's between you and having kids, you win. Every time, no question. 杰克：如果要在你和生孩子之间做选择，我选你。每次如此，毫无疑问。 Jack: My father, he loved footabll more than anything, Most of the time, he-he pretty much didn't want anything to do with me. 杰克：我爸爸，他爱橄榄球胜过一切，大多时候，他根本就不怎么理我。 Jack: But…if he was watching football he let me sit and watch the game with him. 杰克：可是…如果他在看球赛，他会让我坐好和他一起看。 Jack: As long as I'd sit on the floor and I didn't talk too much. I always imagined that when I had kids that I'd watch the games with them, too. Except I-I'd let them talk...as loud as they wanted. 杰克：每当我坐在地板上时，我几乎一言不发。我总是在想，以后我有了孩子，我也会和他们一起看球赛。但是我会让他们说话，想说多大声都行。 Rebecca: I don't know what's wrong with me. 瑞贝卡：我不知道自己是怎么了。 Jack: God, there's nothing wrong with you, Bec. 杰克：你一点问题也没有，小贝。 Rebecca: All of my friends in my age have kids, every single one of them. And...maybe it's 'cause I'm still singing at Froggy's and I'm not as far along as I thought I would be. I don't know. Cause the truth is, when I close my eyes and I think about our future...I see us with kids, Jack. I just...I love our life. I love it right now. And I'm so scared of changing it. 瑞贝卡：和我同龄的朋友都有孩子了，每一个都有了，可是，也行是因为我还在青蛙吧唱歌，而且我觉得我还不够格做父母。我不知道。事实就是，每当我闭上眼，想象我们的未来...我看见我们在带孩子，杰克。我就是...我喜欢我们的生活，就喜欢现在的生活。我很怕会有改变。 Jack:I don't want to change it. Okay? I'm not gonna stand for anything changing between us. Okay? What we have together, you and me. Nothing. Look, I'm sorry about pressuring you all day. I just want you. 杰克：我不会去改变我们的生活，好吗，我无法容忍我们之间有任何改变。我们之间的感情，就你和我。什么都不会改变。我很抱歉整天给你压力，我只想要你。 Rebecca: The Steelers won the Super Bowl. 瑞贝卡：钢人队赢了超级碗。 Jack: Steelers won the Super Bowl. Bradshaw won MVP. 杰克：钢人队赢了超级碗。布拉德肖赢得了最有价值球员。（注：匹兹堡钢人队在1979-1980两连冠，布拉德肖蝉联MVP） Rebecca: My man. 瑞贝卡：我的天（男人） Jack: Yes,I am. 杰克：是，我是。 Rebecca: You are. 瑞贝卡：你是。 Part two Kevin: What if I told you a-a secret that I've never shared with anyone before? 凯文：那如果我告诉你们，一个我从没跟人说过的秘密呢？ Annie: We're listening. 安妮：说说看吧。 Kevin: Okay, all right. But you got to promise not to tell anyone though, okay? This is a private thing that I'm sharing with you. 凯文：好，行。但你们得保证不告诉别人，我要说的事很私密。 Tess: Is this about you dating Demi Lovato? Because everyone knows 苔丝：是你和黛米 洛瓦托（歌手）交往的事吗？因为大家都知道这事。 Kevin: No. Know what, it's not about Demi Lovata, and we were just friends.I just... 凯文：不是，不是黛米 洛瓦托的事，而且我跟她只是普通朋友 我... Kevin: Sometimes I paint. Now, no one knows this, not even your Aunt Kate. But when I get a script,the first thing I do is just sort of paint the way it makes me feel. I painted this after I read that play for the first time. So... 凯文：有时候我会画画,谁都不知道这事，你凯特姑姑也不知道，我拿到剧本时，第一件事就是把自己的感觉画出来，我第一次读了那个剧本后，就画了这幅画。给...。 Kevin: So, uh, you know, I though I would come up here, show you my painting, tell you what I think my play is about. Because I was thinking ,um, that it might make us all feel a little bit better. But you got to promise not to make fun of me, okay? 凯文：所以，我想过了给你们看我的画，说一下我演的那部戏的主体，因为我在想，这会让我们都好受些，但你们不能笑我，好吗？ Kevin: So, um...Yeah, I painted this because I felt like the paly was about life, you know? 凯文：那么， 我画了这幅是因为我觉得这部剧的主旨是生活。 Kevin: And life is full of color. And we each get to come along and we add our own color to the painting. You know? And even though it's not very big, the painting, you sort of have to figure that if goes on forever, you know, in each direction. So, like, to infinity, you know? Cause that's kind of like life, right? 凯文：生活充满了色彩，每个人一路走来，为生活带来了自己的颜色，尽管这幅画不是什么神作，你得琢磨出让线条持续下去，每个方向都无限延伸下去，因为这就是生活，对吧。 Kevin: And it's really crazy, if you think about it, isn't it, that, a hundred years ago, some guy that I never met came to this country with a suitcase. He has a son, who has a son, who has a son, who has me. So, at first, when I was painting, I was thinking, you know, maybe up here, that was that guy's part of the painting and then, you know, down here, that's my part of the painting. And then I started to think, well, what if...we're all in the painting, everywhere? And-and what if we're in the painting before we're born? What if we're in it after we die? And these colors that we keep adding, what if they just keep getting added on top of one another, until eventually we're not even different colors anymore? We're just...one thing. One paintig. 凯文：仔细想想，其实很不可思议，一百年前，一个我素未谋面的人带着行李箱来到这个国家，他有一个儿子，儿子又有儿子，儿子的儿子又有儿子，也就是我。所以我一开始画的时候，我当时想，也就是在这里，画中这里是这个人的起点，而我就在画的这里，然后我开始思考，如果...如果我们都在画布上呢？如果我们出生前，命运就已经被画好了呢？如果我们死后才会出现在画布上呢？我们添加的这些颜色，如果都只是相互间颜色的叠加呢？知道最后我们都变成了同样的颜色呢？我们都只是一体的，一幅画。 Kevin: I mean, my dad is not with us anymore, he's not alive, but he's with us. He's with me every day. It all just sort of fits somehow. And even if you don't understand how yet, people will die in our lives, people that we love. In the future, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now. I mean, it's kind of beautiful, right, if you think about it, the fact that just because someone dies, just because you can't see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn't mean they're not still in the painting. I think maybe that's the point of the whole thing. There's no dying. There's no you or me or them. It's just us. And this...sloppy...wild, colorful, magical thing that has no beginning, it has no end...this right here...I think it's us. 凯文：我爸爸不在我们身边了，他去世了，但他活在我们心里，每天都活在我们心里，一切都冥冥中自有安排，即便你现在还不知道何时何地，我们爱的人终将会离世，也许在未来，也许在明天，也许几年后，其实挺美好的，如果仔细想想，就算一个人死了，就算你见不到这些人，不能再和他们说话，不代表画中没有他们的位置，我想也许这就是全部的意义所在。没有死亡，没有单独的你或我，或者他们，我们都是一体的，这幅...凌乱的，狂野的，色彩缤纷的奇妙之画，没有起点，也没有终点，这幅画，就是我们。 第一季 第六集 Part One Grace: how do you feel about holiday ties? And sport coats. Because I asked Jeremy, but he said he didn't want anything of his dad's. 格瑞丝：你喜欢节日领带吗？还有运动外套， 因为我问过杰里米了，他说不需要任何他爸爸的遗物。 Kevin: How old is Jeremy? 凯文：杰里米多大了。 Grace: Fifteen. 格瑞丝：十五岁。 Kevin:That's tough, 15 is tough. 凯文：这太残忍了，15岁的话太残忍了。 Kevin: Uh, my dad and I used to build models together, when I was a kid. Yeah, we'd build, um, planes and boats. I used to pick the most complex ones, B-52s, aircraft carries, cause they took the longest, you know? See, I was one of three kids, so you really had to strategize to get your alone time with Dad. You know, and eventually, we had a whole leet of them; We had just rows and rows, shelves of them. You know, and then when he died...I-I threw all the modes away. I threw every one of them away. I don't know why...why I did that, you know? 凯文：我小时候，我和我爸会一起拼模型，是的，我们会拼飞机，轮船，我以前总是挑最难的拼，B-52轰炸机，航空母舰，因为做这些花的时间最长，我们家有三个孩子，所以真得花心思去争取和爸爸独处的时间。最后，我们建了一整只舰队，一排一排地在架子上陈列着，当他去世以后...我把这些模型都扔掉了，我把每一个都扔掉了，我也不知道我为什么要这样做。 Grace: You were how old? 格瑞丝：那时你多大？ Kevin: Uh, it was a long time ago.I have this. This necklace, this is his and, um, it's the only thing I have left of him. And at first, you know, I didn't want to wear it, I wouldn't wear it, I wouldn't even look at it, but now it's all I have and I...I can't take it off now, so... 凯文：那是很久以前了，我还留着这个，这个项链，这是他的，我就只留了他这条项链，最开始， 我并不想戴，我不会戴，甚至都不想看，但现在...我只有这个了，我不能取下来，所以... Grace: It's okay. 没事的 Crying... Part two 杰克：你为什么要假装不会算这些题呢？ 故意在数学中考个B，不让别人知道你很聪明。 Jack: Why are you pretending not to know this stuff, huh? Getting B's in math? Not letting people see how smart you are? 兰德尔：我不想和他们不一样。 Randall: I don't want to be different from them. 杰克：和谁不一样 学校里那些孩子吗？ Jack: Different from who? Who, the kids at school? 兰德尔：如果得了A 我就有冰激凌吃，而凯特和凯文没有，他们会恨我的。 Randall: If... if I get an A, I'll get ice cream, and Kate and Kevin won't. And then they'll hate me. 杰克：我能跟你说实话吗？男人间的对话。你妈妈和我总是尽力，对你们几个一视同仁，一向如此，但并不总是有效，因为你们本来就不一样。 Jack: Can I be honest with you? Man to man? You know, your mom and me, we always try, to treat you kids the same. Always have. Hasn't always worked, because, well, you're not all the same. 杰克：你是我们领养的 我们没好好谈过这事，因为对我来说 你完全就是我儿子，也许...我不想让你觉得自己太突出，但是你得知道一件事，我希望你出类拔萃，我希望你们每一个都能，与众不同，做最好的自己，我倾尽全力爱你 孩子，你是个出众的年轻人，别让你爸卑微的想法，阻碍你展现自我，好吗？ Jack: You're adopted, and we don't talk about that enough. 'Cause to me, you are every part my son. Maybe I.. I don't want you to feel like you stand out. But I need you to know something. I want you to stand out. I want all of you to be as different, as you can possibly be. In all the best ways. I love you as much as a human heart can, kiddo. You are an exceptional young man. So don't let your dad's poor choice, make you feel afraid to be different. Okay? 兰德尔：好 Randall: Okay. 第一季 第八集 知道自己快死了是什么感觉？ How does it feel to be dying? 感觉... 就好像是生活中的美好瞬间，像碎片一样在我周围翻飞，而我在努力地伸手去抓。 It feels... like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and... I'm trying to catch them. 当我孙女靠在我的腿上熟睡时，我想努力抓住她的呼吸触碰在我身上的感觉，当我逗得我儿子发笑时，我想努力抓住他的笑声，记住他放声大笑的样子，但现在这些片段飞得越来越快，快得我难以抓住，我能感觉到 它们正在从我指尖溜走，存在我记忆中 孙女的呼吸和儿子的笑声 很快就将...消失了。 When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap, I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me. And when I make my son laugh, I try to catch the sound of him laughing. How it rolls up from his chest. But the pieces are moving faster now, and I can't catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be... nothing. 我知道你觉得自己现在还有大把的时间，但并非如此，所以别再装得那么冷漠，把握生活中的美好瞬间，趁着你还年轻利落 把握机会，因为在不经意间 你就老了，变得步履蹒跚，那时候再想重来也没有机会了。 I know it feels like you have all the time in the world. But you don't. So, stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life. Catch them while you're young and quick. Because sooner than you know it, you'll be old. And slow. And there'll be no more of them to catch. 另外 要是有位喜欢你的男孩，送你一块派，说声谢谢。 And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you. 第一季 第九集 Part 1 杰克：嘿 你不能在我们谈话的时候突然消失啊, 你知道 我们给了你一切,充满爱的家庭,私立学校, 我们确保你接触黑人文化, 帮助你了解自己的出身背景, 我们尽其所能给了你一切, 并且我应当对此感到感激。 Jack: Hey. You can't just disappear when we're talking. You know, we gave you everything. The most loving family. Private school. We made sure you had black influences,to help you understand your background. We gave you everything we could. 兰德尔：我应当对此感到感激, 我应当保持沉默 对于我拥有, 如此伟大的父母表示感恩, 他们在我亲生父母抛弃我的时候收养了我, 但是事实是你们也从来没想过要我。 Randall: And all I was supposed to feel was grateful. I was supposed to just shut up and be thankful, that I had these great parents, who wanted me when my birth parents didn't. But the truth is you never wanted me, either. 杰克：你在说什么？ Jack: What are you talking about? 兰德尔：我是你们死去孩子的一个替代品, 那就是我存在的意义。 Randall: I was a replacement for your dead baby. That's all I've ever been. 杰克：你完全搞错了 儿子，我的一生,都在为完美而奋斗。 Jack: You got it all wrong, son. No, I've spent my life, striving for perfection, 兰德尔：你知道为什么吗？ 爸爸。 Randall: and you know why, Dad? 兰德尔：因为我活在恐惧当中,只要我松懈那么一小会儿, 我就会想起我是不被需要的, 然后会有什么发生在我身上。 Randall: Cause I live in fear. That if I let up for a moment, I will remember that I am unwanted. And then what'll happen to me? 杰克：别这样。 兰德尔 嘿 你来这儿。 唔 别这样。 Jack: Stop.Randall. Hey, you come here.Hmm? Stop. 杰克：在我看到你的那一刻, 我就知道你是我的儿子, 你不是一个选择 兰德尔， 你是一个存在事实。 你从来都不是一个替代品 儿子。 你明白吗？ Jack: The moment I saw you, I knew you were my boy. You weren't a choice, Randall, you were a fact. You were never a replacement, son. Do you understand? 兰德尔：我只知道, 抛弃我的那个人后悔了, 他想要回我, 这就是我世界中最重要的事。 Randall: If I had known, that the man who abandoned me regretted it... that he wanted me back... that would've made all the difference in the world. 杰克：我很抱歉她对你说了谎, 但我们无法改变那个事实 所以你现在想要做什么, 你得加油 加油! Jack: I'm sorry that she lied to you. But we can't change that, so what do you want to do now? You gotta go for it, go for it. 未完待续...

这绝对是我最爱的美剧了。每次看的时候就燃起对家庭的向往。

剧中的Randall的爸爸是一个双性恋。他内向、充满艺术细胞，情感丰沛又不失理智，我极度怀疑他也是一个infj。他的很多对白都蕴含着治愈的力量在里面。

特别是关于双性恋的部分（我惊讶于他们社会的开放程度）。我越来越觉得，其实人类不分“亲情、友情、爱情”。你与每个人的情感都是独一无二的，它们叫做relationships。对这种人来说，喜欢上一个人是一种精神需求，而对方是男人还是女人只是一种世俗的规训。

于是我愈加赞同另一半应该在朋友中产生。他不应该只是看到你的外在，就盲目的发起追求。直到热恋期已过，暴露出对方的种种缺点，发现自己无法handle this，带着失望愤然离场。

而是在不断的相处过程中，看到你的闪光点、缺点、一些感性的地方、一些小癖好和来自原生家庭的执着。就像Monica和Chandler。

就像剥洋葱一样，一层一层随着深入了解建立的relationship。如果逆向去阐释的话，这就是爱情，但我更想称之为一段坚固美好的关系。而关系是需要经营的。

所以如果你想找到人生伴侣，最好的办法是尝试让自己处在更多好的relationship里。而被这些好的relationship包裹的感觉，就是爱。